|Beautiful sunset picture. Gives me peace.|
Last night, God spoke to me. I was upset for no reason. I think i was just tired. I was crying in bed, and suddenly I heard a voice saying, " I am in control, do not worry." I was upset because of my status in math and just my every day life has been rotten this year. Yes, rotten. I felt a peace wash over me, something I have not felt in a long time.
God has been calling out to me for a while. But I chose to ignore it until I was about to break down because of the stress in my life. Something that stresses me out is college. It's 5 years away for me, but I still get worried about that kind of stuff. My mom is telling me that I can get a college degree. But, what if that is not God's plan for my life. My interest is in science and history. But in order to get into college, I have to be good at math. I also have to take the SAT. All of this ahead of me is very stressful and nerve wracking.
I really don't know what God wants me to do with my life. I have always thought that God would lead me into what he wants me to do with my life. But, I am seeing a change. I notice that I make decisions for myself. God brings those decisions into my life and then I make them. Life is stressful, but it doesn't have to be this way. That is why I am glad that in three days I will be done with math. In a few more days after that I will be finished with the rest of my books. I want to be finished, because I need rest and peace from the worries that surround me. I am giving in to my physical and spiritual needs because I know that I need them. I am not quitting, I am just stopping. I know that I can understand math, and that it might just take more time. I wish that was not so. Because I really just don't enjoy math. But, If that is God's will, so be it. I will not change, I will grow.
I have found peace in Christ knowing that he is in charge and is in control of my life.