Monday, September 5, 2016

When Life Goes Wrong

My semester has had a rocky start. From struggling to find parking at school, to realizing that a class was going to take way more work than anticipated, to a fender bender in a parking deck, it's been rough. 

When life goes wrong, God calls us to trust Him more. Life won't always be fantastic. Everything won't work out perfectly. I'm struggling to lean completely on Him. If you know anything about me, I'm extremely independent. I like doing things by myself. Sometimes I have to be told to allow others to help me. God's trying to change my thinking to depend on Him and His righteousness every second of every day.

Two summers ago, I went to Chicago with my youthgroup. My parents were in Port St. Joe, Florida, and had little cell reception. Contacting them was hard, but I wasn't super worried. (again, I'm independent and stubborn.) Everything went great until the last couple days. And... that's where everything went wrong. At some point, I noticed a large "bug bite" on the back of my leg. It was swollen and red. Showing it to the nurse, I thought, "We'll just put some anti itch stuff on and it'll be fine." Little did I know that I had a staff infection in the back of my leg. It would put me in urgent care for antibiotics. After taking two pills, I was in the hospital because of an allergic reaction to the medicine. This wasn't part of my plan. In fact, I hate unexpected problems that arise. But that's were God comes in.

God has been calling me to depend on Him for strength and wisdom, and not to trust in myself. I can't save myself or trust in my strength. It won't get me far. But when problems occur, I can't be afraid. 

Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I've struggled with anxiety for years. I get worried about completely pointless problems. Because of my fear, I fight God's plan for my life. I often don't believe that God has my life under control, so I try to control it myself. It's all fear. When my life goes wrong, I become afraid that I've somehow made a tragic mistake that will forever change my life. But what would happen if I actually believed that Christ was in control and that my mistakes could shape me into being more like Him? My life would change. I would have peace and rest. My challenge for myself this year is that I would rest in God, that I would not fight His plan or worry about my mistakes, but that I would allow God to reshape my life into a story about Him and not about me. Because my life is not about me, it's about God. 



Have Courage and Be Kind, 
Hannah