When Life Goes Wrong

My semester has had a rocky start. From struggling to find parking at school, to realizing that a class was going to take way more work than anticipated, to a fender bender in a parking deck, it's been rough. 

When life goes wrong, God calls us to trust Him more. Life won't always be fantastic. Everything won't work out perfectly. I'm struggling to lean completely on Him. If you know anything about me, I'm extremely independent. I like doing things by myself. Sometimes I have to be told to allow others to help me. God's trying to change my thinking to depend on Him and His righteousness every second of every day.

Two summers ago, I went to Chicago with my youthgroup. My parents were in Port St. Joe, Florida, and had little cell reception. Contacting them was hard, but I wasn't super worried. (again, I'm independent and stubborn.) Everything went great until the last couple days. And... that's where everything went wrong. At some point, I noticed a large "bug bite" on the back of my leg. It was swollen and red. Showing it to the nurse, I thought, "We'll just put some anti itch stuff on and it'll be fine." Little did I know that I had a staff infection in the back of my leg. It would put me in urgent care for antibiotics. After taking two pills, I was in the hospital because of an allergic reaction to the medicine. This wasn't part of my plan. In fact, I hate unexpected problems that arise. But that's were God comes in.

God has been calling me to depend on Him for strength and wisdom, and not to trust in myself. I can't save myself or trust in my strength. It won't get me far. But when problems occur, I can't be afraid. 

Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I've struggled with anxiety for years. I get worried about completely pointless problems. Because of my fear, I fight God's plan for my life. I often don't believe that God has my life under control, so I try to control it myself. It's all fear. When my life goes wrong, I become afraid that I've somehow made a tragic mistake that will forever change my life. But what would happen if I actually believed that Christ was in control and that my mistakes could shape me into being more like Him? My life would change. I would have peace and rest. My challenge for myself this year is that I would rest in God, that I would not fight His plan or worry about my mistakes, but that I would allow God to reshape my life into a story about Him and not about me. Because my life is not about me, it's about God. 

Have Courage and Be Kind, 
Hannah 

An Impactful Moment

Pediatric cancer is diagnosed in one out of three hundred children and is the number one cause of childhood disease related mortality. Because there are twelve major types of cancer and one hundred subtypes, pediatric cancer is a major scientific problem, with thousands of researchers working around the United States to find cures. My dream is to become a researcher - and one person in particular influenced my thinking. His death tremendously impacted my life.

Several years ago, I had the chance to volunteer as a host family with a non-profit organization called Blue Skies, a ministry that provides families with pediatric cancer a chance to enjoy a no-cost week at the beach. Pediatric cancer causes many families a multitude of problems including divorce and debt. When guest families arrive at the retreat center, their emotional walls are up. They don’t really want to talk and are extremely cautious. The children are exhausted and it appears like the parents are afraid to smile. Blue Skies matches volunteer families together with guest families in order to encourage bonding and fellowship. Part of a host family’s job is to help them have fun - and break down those walls. By the end of the week, the guest children are playing with the host children. It’s a blessing for all who are there. Blue Skies gives those families a hope for the future. They look for happier skies ahead.

Our family was paired with the Davidson family. Their oldest son, Drew, was a year older than me and had two younger sisters. Drew had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and was in remission when I met him. Over the course of the week, we got to swim in a massive pool and build sand castles on the beach. We had water gun fights and played manhunt. We played cards and went fishing. Our families enjoyed special themed dinners like Hoola by the Poola and Nautical Night. We opened each day by reading our Bibles together and talking about God. It was one of the best weeks of my life. Cesare Pavese, an Italian poet, once said, “We do not remember days, we remember moments.” I remember laughing and talking with Drew over the course of the week that I was with him. I remember seeing his smile light up the room. He was a joy to everyone around him. Even after the trip, I stayed connected with his family.

Sadly, Drew’s tumor came back this past year. In December, I heard that Drew had passed away after almost six years of fighting the disease. This was a turning point for me. Talking to his sisters, I saw their grief - and felt their deep sorrow. But I didn’t know what to do about it. For a long time, I’ve been interested in medical research and I’ve thought about diabetes, alzheimer's, ebola, anthrax and cancer research. But I had no idea which one to pursue. After Drew’s passing, I knew that cancer research is the right place. It is the right field for me. His death impacted my life, because at that moment, I felt a sense of direction and purpose.

I had always thought that I could not make a difference. Why would I find any answers to problems that hundreds of scientists are studying? I won’t find a cure, and I can’t change anything. But recently, I’ve felt like I could. Norman Vincent Peale once said, “Change your thoughts and you can change your world.” After Drew’s passing, my mindset was changed. I was no longer afraid of my dreams, or what I needed to do to get where I wanted to go. Since then, I’ve been focused on achieving my dreams in science. I’ve researched current progress in cancer and comprehensive cancer centers around the United States. Knowing Drew showed me how to help the world. Because of Drew, I’m hoping to do scientific research with professors as an undergrad. I’d like to do a summer internship at a cancer lab in college. I’m working through high school to save money for college - so that I can afford a good school. He pushed me to follow my dreams and work my way up. It may take me a long time to get involved in cancer research but I will never give up. Pediatric cancer may have caused Drew’s death, but it changed my life.

A Letter to Myself

Written on 2/21/15 and Edited on 11/8/15

Dear Hannah,
Praying that as you continue your daily life, you will strive to become a godly leader. Be a "Paul" to those younger than you. Be a hero to the younger students. Show them how to be a leader by using your words to edify and not to distract them from God. Don't drag them down or be controlling. Kindly show them how to do their job well. Be an encourager to those around you, young or old. Great leaders aren't afraid of opinions and use their words to set others free. Always edify others.
Leaders have fallen apart. The difference between a leader and a great leader is that great leaders ask God for help in getting out of the mire. Knowing that God is always your refuge will help you fight the good fight.

Don't be afraid of silence. Silence can be God's way of working. Pray at all times. God works through continuous prayer. Thank God for the trials and the issues, and praise Him for who He is.

Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Don't be afraid of failure or making mistakes. God has worked through many people who have messed up. Think of Rahab, David, and Paul. All three of these people messed up, but God still used them. Your toil is not in vain-- keep trying, but realize your role in everything. You don't always have to be in charge or be in the spotlight to be a leader or to influence the lives of the people around you. 

1 Corinthians 15:58
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord."

Take time to relax. Having fun is important, but maintaining focus is crucial. Use academics not to show off, but to help others learn. Remember, not everyone understands everything.  Show the gospel to everyone you meet and use your words wisely. You have an impact on people around you.  Your mission is to share God's love to others. Be confident in who He has created you to be and shine His love to others. Strive to love God in the open every single day. Be bold for the Gospel.

Respect mom and dad. They love you so much and although sometimes it may feel like they push too hard, realize that they only do that because they love you. Work hard, not to please them, but to glorify God.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25
"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable."

I can not say this enough. Watch your words. They can either make or break your relationships. Desire to speak wise words. Wise words lead to healing, harsh words can lead to heartbreak. Satan wants to use your words to destroy your life. Be careful.

James 4:6
"And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquities; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life and is set on fire by hell."

Above all else, Follow God. He sometimes calls you to make hard decisions. Trust Him and His plan. Pray for wisdom and follow Him. Follow his calling. There are many things that you could do well at in life-- the goal is to find God's calling for you and pursue it.


Esther 4: 14
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?"


As life continues, remember to strive to reflect God's image through everything. You reflect His image -- follow Him.

Have Courage,
Hannah Newbold

T-5 Days to Senior Retreat...Who is Praying?

Next week I leave for my third senior retreat with Living Science. I'm excited that I've been with this school for 4 years, and I can't wait for my third Senior Retreat. I get the opportunity to be on the worship band, hang out with my best friends, play games (y'all know that's my favorite), learn science, learn more about the Bible, and grow closer to God.

As I started packing my bags, I've continued to pray for this trip.

I'm praying for the D's as they make the journey. Mrs. D just had surgery and I'm praying that there are no complications during the week.

I'm praying for the students going. I would love it if we all got closer to God on this trip and got to know Him better. The week is filled with learning about science and God and connecting the two together.

I'm praying for the chaperones. It's hard dealing with lots of high school students. At some point, we all get cranky and that makes us hard to work with. Please pray for patience and grace as well as for the chaps to have fun!

I'm praying for the house captains and co-captains. I haven't experienced the amount of work they put into leading a house, but I know it's a lot of work. They also do a fantastic job and I know that they love doing it! Pray for safety and strength. 

I'm praying for Advance Team. They leave on Friday morning to make the journey to "Mars." I'm praying they make it safe and get everything set up with no difficulties. They set up everything before the students arrive on Sunday afternoon.

I'm praying for health as I make this trip. Last year, I fell the first night and sprained my ankle. I learned a lot about myself during that trip. I had to be patient with myself and with the people around me.

I'm praying for grace to accept the things I can not change. Whatever happens, is in God's hands. I can't change that. However, I can do my best to serve others and make it the best trip Living Science Students have ever been on.

Please join me in praying for God to bless this trip and give us strength, peace, and grace to learn more about Him!

Have Courage,
Hannah Newbold